So, being in a place where you know you won’t be sticking around for long starts to feel a bit strange. It’s not necessarily because it’s lonely or stressful, but more like you’re physically present there, yet mentally you’re already checked out because you know you’re leaving soon. It’s almost like you’re just an observer, not fully participating in the place you’re in. I had this idea that living this kind of lifestyle would be really active and engaging, but it turns out I often find myself just wandering through cities, watching people going about their lives with their friends, while I feel like I’m there but invisible. It’s not exactly like being a tourist, but also not quite like fully living in a place, even if I’m staying there for more than three months.
I don’t want to come across as negative or start a pity party with “this isn’t what I expected, I’m so lonely,” but it’s just that I had this vision of really immersing myself in each place I visit, and now it feels more like I’m on the outside looking in at how others live their lives in different places. It’s a bit of a weird feeling, you know? Like, I thought I would be actively living and experiencing things, but it often feels like I’m just a spectator in the background, not really engaging with the local life. Anyway, I’ll step down from my soapbox now.